As the year draws to a close, (if I remember to) I dust off this concept to see if I am able to carry it through the new year. Looks like I haven’t touched it in three years, so maybe 2018 it’ll work? If 2015 was my fifth attempt, does that make this coming year my eighth or my sixth? Here’s hoping I get finally accomplish this thing before the twelfth try.

One thing that feels different this year is how I’m framing my 12s. Sure, many of them are going to be the same as years past, but I’m really trying to hone my motivation. I started this project as a way to feel better, to give myself easy(-ish) “wins” in order to feel more accomplished. To not berate myself or compare myself to others. But overcoming a sense of shame feels more like an act of desperation or survival vs. an active choice of living and thriving.

At a Boxing Day gathering at Sonya’s, I had a conversation with Melissa about yoga. I complained that I hadn’t done yoga for a couple of years (nor ever had a true personal practice). I lamented my love/hate relationship with white people chanting and wondering if I’m doing it “right.” It turns out she teaches Sanskrit for teacher trainings around town and makes paintings based on the yoga sutras.

“So, what are you looking for?” she asked about my ideal yoga class. Or what I want out of yoga in general. I stammered through an answer, but I think it’s a really good question that I don’t spend enough time with.

It’s with that mindset I want to approach this next attempt at my 12s. Why am I choosing that specific one? What do I want from it? How does it make me feel—will I enjoy doing it? While I originally envisioned this as a checklist to accomplish and validate myself, I want to be sure it’s both a pleasure-giving and a positive force in my life.

So without further ado, here’s the first draft of my 2018 Twelve12s:

  1. doughsbeyond bread
  2. FOs: knitting, perhaps sewing
  3. ukulele: songs, videos
  4. posts: here, hizknits, getaloaf, doughtown, crockytalk
  5. runs: 1 per month, weeks of 3+ runs, trail, hour-long or more
  6. yoga: classes, home practices
  7. pull-ups: 1 per month, total
  8. handstands: pics or it didn’t happen
  9. outings: museum, performances, outdoors, travel
  10. books: reviewed
  11. dates: in-person, adventures, dinner, outings
  12. letters: cards, pen pals
  13. baker’s dozen? meditations: once a month, 20+ minutes

For each of these, I can say, yes, I would enjoy doing them. And, yes, I know why I want to do them.

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